My Car Can Turn Around. Can Yours?

I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.

~ Georgia O'Keeffe

I think I have spent my whole life living in fear; fear of being teased, of not fitting in; fear of losing those I love and of not being loved; fear of not having a family; of not doing something "big" in my life; the fear of not being remembered when I'm gone from this world. It used to be the boogieman, in the dark, and now it is making sure my family has a warm home and food for the mind, body and soul.
I miss the boogieman.

Fear is built into our genetic make-up as part of our fight or flight response. It was meant to keep us safe from harm. When fear begins to encompass life, it ceases to function as intended. It may still keep a body safe, but it begins to prevent us from experiencing the positive as well. The walls begin to go up. So, we stay home, only travel the roads we know, work the same unfulfilling job for 40 years, all because it is safe.

I admit, I am terrified of driving anywhere unfamiliar, especially if it includes city or rush-hour highway driving. My mind begins reeling. What if I take the wrong turn, miss my exit, get in the wrong lane?! The panic, the fear rises.

A couple of years ago, J bought me a TomTom for my birthday. Last spring I used it for a solo trip to southern NH. Scared? Yes, terrified. I had an epiphany while fighting my way through rush-hour traffic, though. (No, it wasn't like NYC traffic, but it was a lot more than this county girl was used to.) My moment of clarity was simply that my car could turn around. If I made a wrong turn, well, I could just turn around. TomTom taught me a lesson as well. Sometimes those wrong turns can still lead you to your destination, only with better scenery than the original route. The rest of my trip was liberating.

That little excursion to NH didn't cure my fear, but it was an eye-opener and a motivator. Life isn't always as easy as turning around, but I think it's worth getting in the car and driving some unfamiliar roads.